La Nouvelle Cuisine

I've been sick the last couple of days so in my delirium I invented a recipe from scratch to keep my brain occupied and keep my mind from going squishy.

Behold: La Saussisons de Bouilliabaise
(Hot Dog Soup)

Heh heh heh heh....

Now just wait a minute. I know what you are thinking. You are thinking that it is a gross idea and too disgusting to even consider. But isn't the art of cooking founded on taking seemingly unappetizing food and turning it into something delicious?

Can you imagine the guy who invented cheese and thought, "Hmmm...this stinky blob of goo is probably good on toast."

What about Hot Wings? Think about it. If you've never heard of fried chicken before, would the sight of a stupid looking chicken running by you make you imagine taking its wings off to bread, fry and serve cheap on Tuesday nights?

I didn't think so.

So on with the recipe:

You will need a soup pot, a sieve/strainer, one large sweet onion, a litre of water or chicken stock, splash of olive oil, 1 large potato, half cup of whole milk, two stalks of celery, two fat carrots, a clove of garlic, salt, pepper, thyme, two bay leaves, 1 thai chili (optional), and of course three stout, frozen weiners.

Food Prep:

• Garlic: Finely sliced. Not diced.
  
• Onion, carrot, celery, potato: Diced to approximately 1 centimeter cubes
  
• Chili: Sliced in half length-wise. Discard the seeds.
  
• Weiners: I would suggest slicing them thinly into sheets, then doing a julien cut of 1 inch lengths. This will create a pleasing texture, without giving away the wiener's identity to your more stuck up table guests.

Into the Fire:

• Put the pot on medium heat.
  
• Add a splash of olive oil. Make sure the heat is hot, but the oil is not smoking.
  
• Add your weiner and sautee until relatively crispy. Be careful not to break the fine julien.
  
• Remove the weiner from the oil and save in a bowl.
  
• Add your miripoise (onion, celery, and carrot) and sautee until the onion is translucent and the air smells of your delicate vegetables.
  
• Add the garlic and re-add your weiner (add chili if you have it). Sautee for one minute.
  
• Then add your water or chicken stock, milk, potato, add the bay leaf and thyme, raise the heat to high.
  
• Let the soup boil, then reduce temperature to low and simmer for twenty minutes. When the potato is soft remove about half of the potato and push through a strainer back into the soup. This will create a creamy texture.

To the Plate:

• Taste the soup and add pepper and salt to taste.
  
• Ladle into serving bowls and serve on proper plates.
  
• Garnish with parsley leaves or perhaps a sprig of green onion ribbons.

Remember to tell your guests that they are dining on Saussisons de Bouilliabaise. That way you will enjoy their praise and admiration instead of pissing them off by telling them you made them cheap hot dog soup.